Talk to Your Kids about Sexual Health

Talking to Your Kids about Sex

Stick to your word. If you say you will not get mad for being asked, don't get mad.
Be non-judgmental with your kids.
Use age-appropriate language with your kids. You can start by using correct anatomy terms.
Be honest. It is okay if you don't know an answer.
Be an active listener.

Talk to your kids about your family values regarding sex and dating.
Use "teachable moments" from TV, radio, or your every-day life.
Model healthy relationships and make sure you know how to talk to your kids about healthy relationships.

Use anatomically correct names for body parts.
Tell your child it is okay to say no when they do not want to hug or kiss someone.
Explain that some things are not okay to do in public.
Explain the differences between boys and girls.
Teach them to say no if someone touches them in a way they do not like and to tell an adult.
If they ask you, explain body processes like pregnancy in simple terms.

Keep using anatomically correct names for body parts with your kids.
Continue to tell them it is okay to say no to adults who want contact with them if they feel uncomfortable.
Explain how people's bodies work and explain pregnancy in simple terms.
Encourage them to come to you with questions.

Kids may ask fewer questions and try to conform to gender roles.
Even if they do not ask questions, they probably still want to know.
Provide information about puberty.
Talk about hair growth, breast growth, voice changes, etc.
Start talking about some of your family values surrounding families, sex, marriage, abortion, etc.
Let your kids know what you expect from them.

Explain what is normal.
Point out that some embarrassing things actually happen to a lot of people.
Remember to respect their privacy, but encourage them to ask questions.
Point out that just because they are becoming sexually mature does not mean they are ready for sex.
Be prepared to talk about the differences between emotions and sexual feelings.
You may also face questions about contraception and STIs; so, now is a great time to read up on those subjects on our website.

They should gain an understanding of the consequences of sexual behavior and understand how pregnancy and STIs occur and what the risks are. If not from school, then from you.
Talk to your kids about what your values and expectations are regarding sex, relationships, pregnancy, abortion, contraception, STIs, and consent.
Explain what consent means and model good relationships with your child.
Talk about boundaries.
Provide good information to your teen about contraception and STIs so they can make good decisions.
Talk about what their goals are in life and discuss how pregnancy or an STI would impact those goals.
Refresh your memory about contraception and STIs. Read about them on our website.

It is important to talk to them like adults and accept them for who they are.
Recognize that they have the right to make their own decisions.
Keep the lines of communication open and talk about what your values are.
Avoid telling them what they can and cannot do.
Offer choices for behavior and acknowledge their responsibility to make healthy decisions.
Facilitate their access to information and services when they need them.
Remember that even though they are adults now, they may still need guidance from you from time to time.

Many parents think, "Aren't you a little young for this?" The truth is they are not too young.
Many LGBT people report knowing about their sexual orientation or gender identity early, sometimes as early as 10.
Remind them that you love them and to support their identity, even if you do not understand or it makes you uncomfortable.
Remember, they are just being who they are.
You should know that your teen can be a happy, well-adjusted person no matter their gender identity or sexual orientation.
Your support and love will be critical for them at this time.
Find local resources for your teen and take them to events that will support their identity.
For more a list of local resources, you can check out our LGBT page.